That One Team Member
How to Handle Challenging Behavior Without Losing the Team or Your Cool
Read Time: 5 minutes
Every project has one.
The person who resists everything.
The one who interrupts, avoids accountability, or creates conflict in every meeting.
The one who drains your energy and slows down the work.
You cannot ignore them.
You cannot remove them.
And you still have to deliver.
Let’s talk about how to lead through it.
Not Every Difficult Person Is a Bad One
Some people are difficult because they are overwhelmed, unclear, or burned out.
Others because they are used to being the smartest one in the room.
Some lack self-awareness.
You do not need to diagnose the cause to manage the impact.
But how you respond makes all the difference.
Signs One Person Is Derailing the Work
Watch for these signs that one person's behavior is starting to derail the project:
- Team members stop speaking up
- Meetings go off track or get dominated
- Work stalls because of passive resistance
- You find yourself managing around one person instead of with them
This is not just an interpersonal issue. It is a project risk.
What to Do About It
✅ Address behavior early and directly. Not with blame. With clarity.
Try this: “I’ve noticed a pattern and I want to understand what’s behind it.”
✅ Focus on the impact, not the personality. Say: “When we do not agree on scope after alignment, it causes rework.” Not: “You are always difficult.”
✅ Give a path back into alignment. Let them know what good collaboration looks like. Offer support, not ultimatums.
✅ Document patterns. You do not need to escalate right away. But if you ever do, you will need examples.
💬 A member of our community shared how he pulled a developer aside after three tense sprint reviews. He said, I know you care about quality. I need your help delivering with clarity, not critique. He thanked him the next week for calling it out.
If It Does Not Improve
Not everyone will shift.
When you have tried to engage and the behavior persists, it is time to escalate the situation professionally.
When collaboration fails, here is how to escalate without creating more conflict:
- Loop in their manager.
- Focus on project outcomes, not attitude.
- Frame it around delivery risk and team culture.
You do not need to fight every battle. But you do need to protect the people doing the work.
🧘♂️ Protect Your Energy
You cannot control everyone.
You can control how much space you let one person take up in your mind, your meetings, and your momentum.
The strongest PMs set boundaries.
Not just with the team, but with themselves.
And that's how clarity and leadership emerge between the milestones.
👇 Your Turn
Have you had to lead when someone above you was unclear or missing?
👉 Share your story in the comments below or respond to this email.
You might be featured in an upcoming spotlight!
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