When Life Becomes the Hardest Project: Navigating Personal Crisis with a PM’s Mindset

Authored By Kelly Nascimento

In April 2025, I faced the most complex and emotionally charged “project” of my life: accompanying my mother through her final days. As a program manager, I’ve delivered global enablement programs, orchestrated multi-region rollouts, and aligned stakeholders across time zones — but nothing prepared me for managing the chaos of a deeply personal crisis.

Why does this matter for project leaders? Because life doesn’t pause for our carefully built plans. When a crisis hits, our skills in communication, prioritization, problem-solving, and stakeholder engagement are put to the ultimate test. How we respond in these moments reveals whether our frameworks are truly integral to how we operate, or just tools we set aside after hours.

As my mother’s health declined rapidly, I found myself juggling:

• Coordinating urgent medical care and end-of-life arrangements
• Supporting my younger sister through profound loss and uncertainty
• Managing the logistics of two households and legal matters, separated across oceans since my mother was in Brazil and I was based in the UK
• Navigating professional responsibilities

This whirlwind of tasks and emotions pushed me to fall back on the fundamentals I know best as a project manager — using structure and focus to create stability when everything felt like it was spinning out of control.

Breaking it down with a WBS mindset

I created a Work Breakdown Structure (WBS) of everything I knew needed to be done — from tasks that had to be completed before my mother’s final breath, to immediate tasks afterward, and actions that would extend into the coming months. By disaggregating the overwhelming situation into clear, manageable workstreams (medical, legal, emotional, logistical), I could focus on one layer at a time, just as I would decompose a complex program into projects, work packages, and tasks.

Creating a RAID Log

I documented a detailed RAID log (Risks, Assumptions, Issues, and Dependencies) to clarify potential obstacles and critical assumptions, especially when working with lawyers and doctors. This helped me stay ahead of potential complications and be as prepared as possible for what was to come.

Used a Prioritization Matrix

I assessed tasks by urgency and impact, letting go of “nice to haves” to focus on what would move the needle, similar to using a MoSCoW prioritization (Must, Should, Could, Won’t) when time or resources are scarce.

Clear, concise, and compassionate communication became my most significant asset:

📣 I used BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front) when updating family, friends, doctors, and lawyers — starting every conversation with the most important takeaway, then layering details.

💬 I created a communication plan with a dedicated channel and cadence for each group of stakeholders: daily syncs with my sister and scheduled updates for extended family and friends via WhatsApp status. Closer friends who were working on the forefront with me to support my mother — even when I was on the other side of the globe — received more detailed, direct communications to stay aligned and responsive.

🗣️ For tough conversations, especially with my sister, my mother herself, and the friends supporting us, I applied an Open–Narrow–Close approach:

• Open: Create space for emotions and context
• Narrow: Focus the discussion on specific decisions
  
• Close: Confirm understanding and outline next steps

During this time, like in any other project or program I’ve managed, I confirmed that family members and close friends became primary stakeholders, each with unique needs: reassurance, information, or direct action.

🏢 Professional contacts (my employer) were secondary stakeholders, requiring proactive communication to renegotiate expectations, share timelines, and align on transition plans.

📝 External partners (medical professionals, legal advisors) were treated like cross-functional teams, requiring aligned goals, clear responsibilities, and consistent updates to avoid misunderstandings.

What surprised me most was how leadership mindsets honed in professional settings proved invaluable in crisis:

• Empathy as a Planning Tool: I considered emotional readiness before decisions, just as I do when assessing team capacity during change management.
• Assumption Testing: I questioned assumptions in every conversation (e.g., what if my mother deteriorated faster than expected?) to avoid blind spots.
• Risk Management: I identified potential escalations early (e.g., delays in legal paperwork) and developed contingency plans to prevent compounding crises.

Before stepping into what came next, I took the time to reflect on the lessons I had learned, considering what went well, what I could have handled differently, and what I had learned about myself as a leader. This helped me carry forward insights, not just memories.

I learned that: 

🔹 Prioritization is survival. Whether in the boardroom or at the bedside, knowing what truly matters is the difference between progress and paralysis.

🔹 Clarity and compassion go hand in hand. Direct, structured communication delivered with empathy prevents misunderstandings and builds trust, especially when stakes are high.

🔹 Frameworks are worthless if they’re not internalized. When life upends your plans, your ability to apply PM principles instinctively is what keeps you moving.

🔹 Stakeholder alignment isn’t corporate jargon — it’s universal. In crisis, proactively aligning expectations and responsibilities is what sustains momentum and reduces chaos.

🔹 Leadership isn’t about control, it’s about presence. The most powerful thing we can offer during uncertainty is to show up fully, listen deeply, and act with intention.

This piece is part of my short series, “From Care to Clarity,” where I explore the intersection of caregiving, leadership, and personal growth. You can read the other posts on my LinkedIn.

By sharing this story, I hope to remind fellow PMs that our skills aren’t confined to projects. They’re also tools for life. The true measure of our craft is not only what we deliver at work, but how we lead ourselves and others when everything is on the line.

Contributor Bio

Kelly Nascimento is a London-based program manager who loves turning chaos into clarity. With 10 years of experience in change and program management, she combines empathy and structure to help teams navigate significant challenges, both at work and in their personal lives.

Connect on LinkedIn: Kelly Nascimento